Where are you going?

     I feel like the past me has definitely evolved in my short time here at Converse. The panic attacks have subsided, the friends have started to substantiate, and my views have started to shift. I was overly optimistic about college life I believe. In fact, that's part of what contributed to the gajillion panic attacks I had in the first two-three weeks I was here. But that's changed now, and I'm much more realistic with my expectations that I have about what life SHOULD be like at this point.
     I am coming out of my shell more, and I'm figuring out ways to culture new interests that I have, like a college ministry. Church was such a HUGE part of my life, and now that I'm here, I have come to the sad realization about how many people just need to hear about Jesus and understand His grace. So I've been inspired to start some ministry, and I'm super pumped to see where this ministry will lead. I have also realized the importance that my family has in my life. I miss them much more than I thought I would, but I have also grown so much. So much so that it is becoming more awkward to go home because I see the change that I'm missing out on while I'm changing drastically and I know that my family is missing out on that. But I believe this is helping me develop into a mature young lady who can really make her own place in the world.

     I am now more solid in my beliefs and what I stand for. I am ready to take on research opportunities and explore my career field more in depth. I am making a new home for myself and finding friends to support me along the way. I'm finding passion in music therapy. I am at a point where I'm ready to throw myself into my music passionately, relentlessly, and recklessly even, so that I can follow God's will for my life and do what I am called to do.
     I look forward to deepening the relationships that have started to take root these next few years. I can't wait to research answers to my questions and to discover the core of my being. I want to see the Converse ring on my finger, find my little sister(s), and be thrown in the engagement fountain (although, I need a fiancé for that first!), and so many more traditions that make Converse who she is today. I look forward to becoming even more independent and courageous. I want to discover my potential as a leader not only in my school, but in my community and in the world as well. I have big plans, and Converse is the place to be to make thing happen!

It's a Family Tradition

Traditions are a huge part of Converse that inspired my decision in coming here. From the Big Sis/Lil Sis Week to 1889 Week to being thrown in a fountain when you're engaged, the traditions crawl all over campus and give Converse a sense of establishment and a familial feel. If I could start a tradition here at Converse, I would want to start a tradition of having a spirit "sorority" on campus. This sorority would choose the top fifteen freshmen each year that embodied the most school spirit and form a group that attended multiple Converse functions, wearing purple and gold as often as possible, including painting up for athletic functions, supporting music recitals, and participating in academic discussions. By the time four years have passed, you will have 60 members, which is a big group, but it provides people to attend and participate in multiple functions simultaneously while encouraging the rest of the student body to be active in the spirit of Converse College and her traditions. I think it will a fun time honored tradition somehow, someday!

Whooooooooo are you? Who who? Who who?

Do, mi, sol...I have now used those words, or syllables rather, so often that my brain doesn't know what I did without them in the first place! Solfege is often frustrating to me, but then I remember why I am learning it. I want to become a music therapist, and it all starts by learning fundamental musical skills. Eventually, I want to be a music therapist who owns a private practice mainly for children with autism and developmental delays. I want to live wherever the good Lord takes me, but somewhere like North Carolina weather would be perfect. I want to be married with four kids and aside from being a music therapist, I want to be a stay at home mom with my kids. A good middle class salary is all I really want with a reasonable house and one car is plenty. Honestly, that is my dream.
I have to take little steps to get where I want to be. The first step was deciding to come to college and pursue a degree. I have done that step and am currently pursuing a music therapy degree. I have to finish 141 hours to receive my degree but it will be totally worth it. For my internship, I'll work with a group that focuses on children with autism and developmental delays. Then I will get a job, hopefully, at my internship site. While working, I want to attend Appalachian State and study for my masters in expressive arts therapy. After I receive my masters, I will open my private practice in my home and from there, work at home and possibly pursue a doctoral degree at Lesley University. As far as getting a husband...that'll come when God says so! That's the least of my concerns at this point.
My goals take time, but I know I can achieve anything I set my mind to. With the great resources I have now, I can take the steps I need to take to reach my goals. With a can-do attitude, I'm ready to jump in and get started on my rainbow connection!

To the class of 2018...If that doesn't make you feel old, I don't know what will!

How weird is it to think that, in just two years, we will be big sisters helping the new freshmen class navigate the strange waters of Converse? I can't wait until then (or rather I can. I have no idea what I'm doing still!) so here is my little spill that I would give to my potential little sisters:

Good morning! I hope everyone's been getting plenty of sleep and eating well! No? Well, guys, the first thing I want to tell you is this: get plenty of rest, even if it means taking a nap or missing a late night party. Your mind can't function if you're out every night of the week cultivating your social life. It's good to have some nights where you are out and about, but save those for the weekend after you've done your homework and you can handle losing several hours of sleep without serious repercussions.

Also, make sure you are eating well! Pizza is yummy and soda is bubbly and sweet, but they are not good for your energy level or your body in general. Be sure to eat a colorful plate full of veggies and if you must have snacks in your dorm, try to buy apples, trail mix, and other good for you snacks that will keep your energy up, especially as music students who have long days. Eating healthy will keep you from gaining the freshmen fifteen and will keep you from falling behind due to a lack of energy.

Aside from being healthy in a physical way, be sure that you find a least a couple of friends that you can flock to when you need someone there. These friends that you make in college are going to be the friends that are there for life, and now is the time to start searching for them. They can really help you in times of need and can be there for you when you need someone to go to the party with or to figure out the workings of Gee with. But sometimes friends can give you a bit too much of help and advice.

If you need someone to just listen and you don't want everyone knowing about something maybe that is personal, you can always go to the Wellness Center on campus. There is no shame in counseling, and as music students who often lose their sanity in the crazy hours that we spend in the practice rooms, counseling can be extremely beneficial in keeping your emotional health stable.

Time management is something that music majors often become masters of as we figure out recital attendance, clubs, practicing, going to class, and other activities of the like. Be sure that you don't say yes to absolutely everything in the beginning as far as clubs and organizations go, and be sure to prioritize your stuff. Try to get your convocations and recital attendance done early so that come November/December, you aren't cramming and stressing because the recitals you attended only amount to 13 when you needed 20. It is so much better to be done with these sorts of things so that you can enjoy the other activities on campus, such as Zumba, movie night, and many more.

Converse is a great school to be at and I am so excited that you are here. There is a great purpose for you here and a special place for each of you. If you need anything, everyone that is above you, to include students, faculty, and staff, are here to reach out to YOU and help YOU become a vital part of the Converse sisterhood. Again, we are super excited that you chose Converse, and if you need anything, we are here for you. Thanks guys!

No time to say "Hello!" "Good-bye!"

     The warmth of my bed encompasses me like a bear hug from my daddy. I force open my sleepy eyes and see the clock ticking onward. It's 7:30 am already? I roll back over for five more minutes of sleep only to discover that the five minutes I planed in my mind has turned into fifteen and I am now late to start my day. I jump in the shower, run down the hall as I dry off, pull on some semblance of an outfit, then rush out the door, hoping I have everything I need for the day. Sometimes this works. However, more often than not, I am late to class, not prepared, and in a full tizzy from the whirlwind morning. Welcome to the circus life of Mackenzie!
     I know that surely I am not the only one who struggles with oversleeping/lack of sleep. It is a fairly common problem among high-school and college students. After several tardies, one zero for the lack of a pencil, and numerous "I'm concerned about you" talks from various teachers, I decided that it was time to get my act together and be on time. I wanted to be known as a responsible student and not the slacker who was living in her own la-la land. It took several methods and a few times of failure before I found this helpful hint: Set your alarm clock early. Many people look at me with crazy eyes when I say set your alarm clock earlier, but let me explain.
     When I have my alarm clock set for 7:30 am, I automatically want to press the bloody snooze button. Ten minutes go by and the alarm clock rings again. That is wonderful, except 7:40 am is often too late for me to prepare efficiently for my day. So if my body must have the satisfaction of pressing that snooze button, I set my alarm clock for 7:20 am. It's practically a mind trick to make myself think I getting more sleep, when in reality, I'm waking up at the right time with a bit more energy.
     Aside from the mind tricks, I also suggest thinking about WHY you must wake up at the time you set. Maybe it's so you can work out, or spend some time in quiet devotion or contemplation. Maybe you just need to get to class on time. Whatever the reason is, write it down beside your bed and look at it when you feel like "sleeping for five more minutes". Trust me...goals are a big motivator for a lot of people, so make your goals a reason to get up each morning.
     With these two tips in mind, I hope that maybe the school crowd will be a bit cheerier and ready to grab a hold of life. Get up and start your day because you have a reason worth living for, because you need to discover something wonderful today, or because you are ready to seize what life is begging to give you. Don't let the snooze monster trap you into being caught up in the morning whirlwind. Grab life by the horns and get up so that something amazing can happen. Good morning!

   

The big "C" word and Miss Piggy

     Why did I choose college? I never really thought about not going to college. As a little girl with bouncing pigtails and pink swing dresses, I imagined myself one day roaming the halls of some great school where I would learn how to be an adult, find a husband, and prepare to work hard and efficiently. My parents always encouraged me to do my best and stood proud as I received academic award after music award after sports award, following the ceremonies with comments like,
     "That will help our little girl get into Harvard one day!"
     "You will have full rides to college if you keep on this track."
And of course,
     "You can be anything you want to be, Mackenzie. Start thinking about what colleges you are interested in and what you want to do with your life. We are already so proud and can't wait to see what great things our Mack Attack can do!"
     I guess you could say I was raised to expect college as the natural next step after high school and I never questioned that theory. Now that I am a graduated high school student, college has come to mean much more to me than just football games, husbands, and friends. College has now become a place, or rather, a stage in my life where I want to learn how to be great. I want to learn how I can develop myself and develop the talents God has already given me so that I can become a better servant for Him in the work force, in my friendships, and eventually, in my roles as a wife and mother.
     I fought Converse practically my entire middle and high school career. I was set on NOT going to a "girls' school" because girls are catty and vicious, and I was not about to spend four years of my life around people that I didn't like and wasn't comfortable with. However, when I came to audition at Converse, I knew my mindset was changed forever.
     The first concept that I had wrong about Converse was that it was a "girls' school". In the aforementioned roles that I wanted to grow into, I recognize that each role requires a great deal of strength, maturity, and mutual respect for the world and her people. Those characteristics are practically what change a girl into a woman. Converse College is a women's college; it is not a girls' school by any means because at Converse, the courses, the traditions, the standards that the students are held to, require womanly responsibilities and mindsets-not girlish frivolousness and ridiculousness.
     Secondly, I was wrong about the type of women that attend Converse. During my audition day and afterwards, I realized that Converse was not full of pearl-wearing, husband-chasing, mint julep-drinking women, but was diverse in the student population. Many cliques, stereotypes, and groups are represented at Converse, and I was most surprised at this fact. Here, you will find many ethnicities represented, many diverse majors, many religions, and many opposing beliefs in regards to politics, our country, and the direction at which the future is heading. But one thing to say about the diversity-it does not stop the student body from coming together as one and advocating for women empowerment and the values that Converse stands for. Converse is a home. It is a family that is safe for exploring, creating, asking questions, and gaining confidence in yourself that you never thought possible. I chose Converse because as soon as I set foot on campus, I felt at home. I felt safe and happy and felt like anything was possible as long as I had the heart to reach out and grab whatever I wanted to attain. I could finally pursue my passions in a way that could make them turn into lifelong careers for me. How amazing!
     Music is my passion, and I have always known that it would be my lifestyle one day. Narrowing my major down to music therapy was the hard part, as I was stuck on vocal performance, worship leading, and musical theatre for quite a while. When I discovered music therapy though, a light bulb did a little ding! and I knew that was the major for me. It combined my love of music and teaching while satisfying the longing of my servant's heart to help those in need. As I researched further, I wanted to narrow down my list of college choices down to East Coast schools that were American Music Therapy Association certified. That process left a few schools in Boston along with Appalachian State University, Charleston Southern University, and of course, my Converse. I visited Boston, but quickly realized how homesick I would be and knocked off Berklee College of Music and Lesley University (which just became co-ed a few years ago). I thought Berklee would be where I would be, but the audition process was extremely daunting and the thoughts about the school, though wonderful, were not settled right in my soul and I knew that wasn't home. After seeing the boring, drab campus of Charleston and the denial of financial aid at Appalachian State, I looked at Converse and the light was on. I was thoroughly impressed with the staff on my audition day, and I knew I would be comfortable studying with the professors here. The thing that impressed me most was the concern that the faculty seemed to have for me as a student even though it was just my audition day. They mentioned that I sounded vocally weary and should be checked for vocal nodules. I kind of brushed it off for a week or two, then went to see my doctor. After that appointment, I was put on vocal rest for three months to heal the nodules that had developed from improper singing techniques and simply over-singing. I was so impressed that these professors who barely knew me had heard that in my voice that I knew I would be at Converse studying music with some of the best teachers around. I knew in my heart and soul that I would be taken care of vocally and emotionally simultaneously by staff, faculty, and the students. I could live out my drama queen fantasies and become the star I dreamed of becoming because it is here at Converse that I would find a place where I belonged.

     Speaking of drama queens and stars, if I had to pick a Muppets character that I related with most, it would be Miss Piggy because I love her as a character of empowerment for women. She really inspires confidence, sass, and feminism in my soul and sparks a little fire that gives me an edge, but in a lady-like, appropriate manner. She loves to wear her high heels and make sure she's "hammed" up and ready for any performance at any given time. I hope to be the performer that is ready spur of the moment with the confidence my heels give me and the personality as big as a Southern woman's hair that is sure to get me far in life, whether it is in performance, in a clinic, in a social scenario, and life in general. I want music to be my Kermit so that I may run from one end of the world to the other, exploring its beauty and its effect on the people of the earth. So in the words of Miss Piggy, "This, you see, is my ultimate ambition- to live a simple life with the frog I love." The world at my feet. The music twirling and twisting in my head. My confidence full to the brim so I can charge into the world with no fear and deliver my contribution to society-whatever it be. After all, isn't finding what you want to do what college is about?